Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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