im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
being pregnant is like rehab
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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