sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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