ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
cat food counts as protein by the way
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
