It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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