why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
