Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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