they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
