blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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