He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize