jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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