I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
A+ Viking dick
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
