her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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