So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
so much tequila, so little girl.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
