I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
