Im at strip club and am horny
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
