got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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