It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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