He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i drank out of a bidet.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
