she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
