She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
