Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
