I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i think i have herpe
just one?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
