i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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