im six kinds of drunk right now
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
