My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Randomize
