I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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