Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
