I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize