Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
