I wish life had little blips of pornography
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
