New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
