i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
