well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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