im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I got inside last night via doggy door
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
