I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
