it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We got so high we made milksteak
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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