what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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