Whod you bang
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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