I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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