No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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