sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
