You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
