It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just forgot I was standing up.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
