"it" just moved
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
