Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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