its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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