I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
