Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
