If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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