3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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