I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
