Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
