I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
