Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
