having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
