need another drink. this is the easiest way
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
