I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
