I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
