I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
