She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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