Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
