His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
