We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
