Do you still have your period?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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