Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I need a beard to bite.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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