Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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