these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
