Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
